So, we did it. We did it all. We did the marry your childhood sweetheart thing. The get married young thing. The establish careers thing. The buy the house thing. The have babies thing. (well, we’re still in the process of that one). And you know what? After ten years of marriage, 6 years of excessive mortgage payments, ten years of jobs some we loved, most we hated, several losses of babies, many tears and triumphs and joys and sorrows later, we’re ready to redefine what our dreams are.
My husband and I sat down a few months ago and asked ourselves, what do we really want? What do we want to pursue? How do we want to raise our children? What do we want our everyday to look like at home? How is that different than what it looks like now? What it looked like ten years ago?
It looked different. Way too different to ignore. Big changes were necessary. But, big changes are scary. Especially when they go against the norm, or what is expected. I suppose we were never really good at doing the expected.
Our new dream was for Rich to feel free to change careers without threat of financial ruin. I have recently just this year been given some amazing opportunities to teach in different capacities and to take a deeper step into church leadership that I would love to be able to pursue, and some creative/writing opportunities that really give my heart joy. We want both of us to be home as much as possible with our (two!!!!!) miracle babies. We never want to take for granted the blessing these girls are, and what it took to get them here and we want to maximize our time with them without deeply sacrificing financially. We want Ellie to attend a public school next fall that we believe will do her little brilliant brain justice- we’re big proponents of being in the world, not of it but the public school we’re currently sanctioned for gives us grave concerns about her education, and even, her well-being. We want more family, more time, less bills, less stress, more joy, less painful wake-ups, more of each other.
So, we’re doing something a bit crazy. As of October, we will be putting our beloved house on the market in order to rent in a different town, closer to the train, in a much better school district. The decision to let the house go was fraught with indecision and much sadness. It’s our first house. But, it won’t be our last. This season in life lasts for only a moment- when the children are little and precious. We know that very soon they won’t want us to snuggle or take them to a movie or hold their hand while they fall asleep. We also know it’s imperative for children to see their parents pursuing the things they love- that gives their hearts joy. It makes us better people, which makes us better parents.
Part of us feels like we’re going backward- but didn’t we work so hard to get to this one place? Perhaps. But we’re to follow no one’s dreams but our own. Even if they look a little out of the ordinary. And dreams change all the time- why not forge our own way?
Why don’t you?