Changes

In the quiet of the morning, on the week before things begin, there’s time for one more cup of coffee. It’s an unusually cool day, and though summer hasn’t breathed it’s last, hot breath yet, I am taking today as a sign of things to come.

I haven’t written very much here this summer. I almost felt like it was time to allow my voice to rest.  My mind.  My body.  I hope you don’t mind.  I let myself off the hook this summer and just, well, breathed.  And learned something fairly significant about this hook thing, and how I dangle from too many of them, lines running from fingers and toes in different directions.

I read a few books, and some of them were meant to be helpful, and others were pieces of fiction that were just as important.  I heard it said that if you want children to be smarter, to read them fairy tales.  I read my share of them this summer and I may attest to this truth.  There’s beauty in the redemptive love and conflict of a fairy tale- not unlike real life.  Just, beauty is always the focus in tales, and we seem to forget about carrying that over into our every day.

This will be the first school year that I will not be commuting very much (if at all) to NYC.  I will miss my maple latte from Grounded, the leaves, the twinkle lights in Tea and Sympathy’s fall decor.  I will miss the village where I found my footing as a Mama and as a professional- where I learned that I could do both with confidence.  I spent two whole years wandering Perry and 4th waiting for my sessions to begin, haunting Tartine’s windows, dodging foreign Sex and the City fans with selfie sticks.  As a teenager I swore to make that little neighborhood my own- what a beautiful thing that it was where I continued to find pieces of myself throughout my adulthood.  New York grows with you in the bravest, most endearingly prickly way.  I will miss it dearly.

And in the same way, I am ever so thankful for the shift.  That I will be New Jersey side with families I’ve grown to love, in a district part time that’s always been a part of me.   It will mean hours off of a commute, which means I get the dinner and bedtime hour with my family back in spades.  The part time means no hours of grading and planning and prepping at home- just the focus on the children; who they are, what they need, and how to help them.

Though I’ve not been writing here, oh, I have been writing.  There are a few projects I am honored to be a part of this coming year- projects filled with beauty and truth where I get to lend my pen and my voice, my research and my gifting.

I’ve learned how to get off the hook gently, carefully, without harm to myself or jerking anyone’s line and keeping myself on the things that bring me life, thusly, bringing life to others.

This coming year is already full of changes, some more to come.  I don’t have the answers to any of them, or the blueprints.  I don’t even have the universal healthcare paperwork filled out for Ellie’s school yet.  Yikes.  What I do know, is that today there is cool air, a pot of coffee and some time.  There is good in today.  Can’t you find it, too?

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