My head turns in recognition.
Yes? I answer.
I’m here! I call.
Broken. Fat. Lost. Wrong. Meddling. Spiteful. Bitter. Uncaring. Selfish. Alone. Guilty. Shameful. Unproductive. Self-involved. Self-centered.
My body twists and turns in response. It has been difficult to remember all of my names. It seems each year earns another that I answer to. Little voices, big voices- some barely audible, some shaking foundations. There are too many names.
Then there is one voice that is different.
It is not loud.
It is not soft.
There are no dynamics, because there is no competition. It calls from within.
And my body calms. My hands relax. My spirit quivers.
Every nerve ending, every cell cries out with joy-
Yes! That is me!
That is my name.
I had forgotten.
I had forgotten my own name because I never really knew it.
It is not one in the myriad of others.
It is the only one.
It is foreign and beautiful and I am learning to answer to it as a geriatric walks on ice- slowly. Tentatively. With hope that will get me to the other side.
It is my name.
My only name.
It’s yours, too.
Who else have you been answering to?
“.. and I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.”
A new name.