I am an insane woman.
My kid was awake from 2-5 this morning.
My hair is dirty.
I took El to her gym class and didn’t even smile at anyone.
I pretended not to notice as she pulled the kid’s hair who punched her in the face a few weeks ago.
I ran into the deli to go over the catering for El’s 87th birthday party tomorrow in leggings and 30 year old moccasins. Which, in the rain, smell like 30 year old wet dog.
I took my child to Panera without taking a shower, and nearly forgot to put her shoes on before putting her in the car.
Okay, so I forgot to put her shoes on and had to leave her strapped in and screaming in the backseat so I could run back inside the house and get them.
Chased her around Panera for an hour as she did not, it seemed, want to eat a damn thing.
Went next door to Petco to see the “fishies”.
Seeing the fishies actually meant, trying to eat the hamster pellets that were falling out of a broken bag in the rodent section.
Which resulted in me yelling like a mad woman at a two year old as to why she would refuse to eat a bagel with cream cheese, but has no problem with hamster pellets.
Had to run to the car from the store, in the pouring rain, as she screamed- “NOOOOOOO I WANT THE PEWWWWETTTTS!!!!!!”
I put VeggieTales on for the second time today so I could Skype one of my best friends who lives in another country to commiserate on life and work and motherhood and mindlessly fed El cookies and milk to keep her quiet.
I wrote emails with vital information for work, wrote thank yous for those who have helped while we were away, texted important dates and plans for future events and wrestled with the anxiety of trying to get my kid to take a nap all the while longing for some extra time for curriculum for the youth group and maybe, just maybe, a cup of tea.
My kid refused a nap for two hours resulting in my throwing her back in the car to drive around, hoping it would soothe her to sleep.
Transfered the sleeping kid, in the rain, holding a blanket over both of our heads, running between drops, safely making it inside and all the way up the stairs to have her wake up again in her room and start the process all over again.
Finally down, asleep.
Have to pay the bills.
Not enough money to pay the bills.
Pay half of the bills.
Still slightly insane.
And then I remember Mary. Mary sitting at the Savior’s feet. Mary. Who did right. And I remember.
I’m not the one who is all things to all people.
I think I’ll take a shower and that cup of tea now that I know that the world is no longer my responsibility.
Maybe just the tea.