This is my verse. It has been for a year now. I think it will continue to be for the rest of my life, because God keeps bringing it up in my life in different ways, especially in this whole Motherhood thing.
I suffer from a common affliction for those who live in one of the most expensive parts of the country- I’m cheap. Spending money gives me anxiety. On anything. Even if it’s something we need, like milk, or new socks. I hate, hate pulling bills out of my purse and handing them over never to return again. I’ve been like this for as long as I can remember. Until, my kid was born.
As I toured around Barnes and Noble with my little kiddo this week, I watched her closely. Her joy at tinkering with the lego table. Her laughter as she made the trains smash into each other. How she lovingly picked up a stuffed dinosaur, a new book, a pack of markers, and put them all back without ever once throwing a fit about wanting them, or expecting them to come home with us. Even if her response was different, my feelings wouldn’t have changed. Everything we walked by that made her squeal with delight, I wanted to buy. I would buy anything that incites a little Ellie joy- anything. I haven’t, of course. We didn’t buy anything that day at all. If I bought my kid everything she wanted, she wouldn’t develop into the gracious, appreciative kid we’re shaping. But I REALLY wanted to.
God’s heart for us is just the same. He delights in the same things that give us joy- and He wants for us to have it all. But just like a good Papa, he knows that having it all isn’t always good for us. So, sometimes, we don’t get what we ask for. But that doesn’t mean His heart doesn’t long to give us good things- just like my heart longs to buy out the toy section of Target. My heart delights in my daughter’s joy- God’s heart does the same for us.