I always considered myself fairly put together. Trendy, not so much. I left that to my younger, more fashionable sisters. But, put together, I could do. Until the last few months. I liken first time parenting in the first year to the first presidential term- we age in one year what the President ages in four. Not even Obama can rival these Edward-esque circles under my eyes. And the vampire trend is on it’s way out, didn’t you hear? I’m running out of luck.
I was very careful to avoid the “Mom haircut”, The “Mom jeans”, and the “Mom yoga pants” at the grocery store for the first few months. But being home with a little human who’s lexicon ranges from “Mama!” to “Yeah!” can have an adverse affect on your perception of how others- adults, mainly- communicate. They will notice you haven’t washed your hair in two days even if your little girl enjoys the fact that she can find rice krispies in your hair- and will use words with more than one syllable to whisper to one another about your stay-at-home attire that should have, essentially, stayed at home.
I was never a big clothing shopper to begin with, but forget it since the baby was born. The only thing worth throwing in the cart is in a size 9-12. Month. And I said, cart, people. Did you notice? I only buy clothes at stores that have CARTS. That’s telling. I can’t remember the last time I had a decent hair cut. And Blow-dried it. Actually, I can’t remember the last time I didn’t use a hair-tie. Ew. I can’t remember the last time I wore a dress. And make-up. On the same day. I haven’t had a pair of heels on my feet in over a year. And I look good in heels. I have small feet.
My husband has never complained about my lack of up-keep, in fact, just the opposite. He still says I look lovely. I don’t think he’s lying. He’s the best man ever if he is and if he isn’t. Yet, still, I need some practical tips to turn this ship around. I breached my own code and wore yoga pants to Whole Foods yesterday. This downward spiral must be thwarted before I lose all sense of reason and justify a Forever Lazy.