Downward Spiral

I always considered myself fairly put together.  Trendy, not so much.  I left that to my younger, more fashionable sisters.  But, put together, I could do.  Until the last few months. I liken first time parenting in the first year to the first presidential term- we age in one year what the President ages in four.  Not even Obama can rival these Edward-esque circles under my eyes. And the vampire trend is on it’s way out, didn’t you hear? I’m running out of luck.

I was very careful to avoid the “Mom haircut”,  The “Mom jeans”, and the “Mom yoga pants” at the grocery store for the first few months.  But being home with  a little human who’s lexicon ranges from “Mama!” to “Yeah!” can have an adverse affect on your perception of how others- adults, mainly- communicate.  They will notice you haven’t washed your hair in two days even if your little girl enjoys the fact that she can find rice krispies in your hair- and will use words with more than one syllable to whisper to one another about your stay-at-home attire that should have, essentially, stayed at home.

I was never a big clothing shopper to begin with, but forget it since the baby was born.  The only thing worth throwing in the cart is in a size 9-12. Month. And I said, cart, people.  Did you notice? I only buy clothes at stores that have CARTS.  That’s telling.  I can’t remember the last time I had a decent hair cut.  And Blow-dried it.  Actually, I can’t remember the last time I didn’t use a hair-tie.  Ew.  I can’t remember the last time I wore a dress.  And make-up.  On the same day.  I haven’t had a pair of heels on my feet in over a year.  And I look good in heels.  I have small feet.


My husband has never complained about my lack of up-keep, in fact, just the opposite.  He still says I look lovely.  I don’t think he’s lying.  He’s the best man ever if he is and if he isn’t.  Yet, still, I need some practical tips to turn this ship around.  I breached my own code and wore yoga pants to Whole Foods yesterday.  This downward spiral must be thwarted before I lose all sense of reason and justify a Forever Lazy.

Help. Me.



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