Things I Never Thought I’d Do (Before I had a Kid)

1.  Exclaim with shouts of joy when I fit back into my fat jeans.

2.  Cry at the Jif Peanut Butter commercial thinking of what I will do when Ellie goes to college.

3.  Wear my baby like all those hippie Moms I swore I wouldn’t become.  ( Being in the Moby Wrap is the only thing that makes her calm down if she’s really wound up- and it gives me back my hands!).

4.  Draft DIY plans for each room of the house, as I’ve now had time to ruminate on design changes while pacing the floor with a screaming child.

5.  Covet having to pee- it’s the only time I allow myself to close the door and have a few minutes of peace.

6.  Acquire the “Mom” voice- you know what I’m talking about.

7.  Dust underneath my bed.  (I’ve spent a lot of time in my room).

8.  Begin the search for good private schools.  (She’s eight weeks old).

9.  Feign a needed diaper change in public places just to spend more time with her.

10.  Forget how to worry about money, careers, to-do lists; nothing is more important than she is.


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